Only a few people know the real story behind the game... Forget the hippy stuff, Ultimate Frisbee was developed around 300 A.D. in the Aztec province of Yucatan, near the city of Palenque. Ultimate Frisbee (in the Aztec Ul-ta-kool Fusz-bah, literally "gliding death wheel") was used both as a form of entertainment and to settle minor land or mineral rights disputes between Aztec tribes. The teams were typically comprised of slaves, widows, and orphans who played for pitchers of Ouaxchica, a sweet and refreshing Aztec rice drink.

The Aztec kings immediately recognized this peasant sport as a golden opportunity to ruin something good by making it a blood-sport. The "frisbee" was soon serrated and made razor-sharp; the losing team was fed to wild dogs, who were then drowned in lakes, which were then drained; and the frisbee fields were littered with small pieces of metal, chunks of diseased flesh, and swarms of killer bees. These innovations were undone in the 19th century by Lord Shelby Darrow, a noted Aztecologist, who is considered the father of modern Ultimate Frisbee, the step-father of Competitive Shuffleboard and the dead-beat dad of Ultimate Darts.

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